An entire month

So an entire month has gone by without time to blog.
I think I'll figure out this week whether I'm just going to shut her down, or recommit.
The problem is: I'm diligently working on my novel. Actually making progress.
Which means that any free minute I have (and they are few and far between) is spent typing at maximum speed trying to eek out 10-15 sentences for the novel.
I'm still working on tons of projects, I just don't have the time to put in to creating thoughtful, well done posts for them.

Soul searching is in order.

Harry Potter v. Twilight, why Bella will be banned

I fully admit and own up to having read both the Harry Potter series and the Twilight series.
I fully admit and own up to liking both, pouring over books for hours unable to put them down, lost in their little alternate universes.
I fully admit that Bella will be banned in this house until my daughter is 25.
Only then will she be allowed to read the Twilight series.

I never thought that I would be a censorship parent, that I would have a list of books I wanted to make sure my child never laid eyes on. I figured I would be open, understanding, willing to let my little cherubs explore literature til they burst at the seams with word joy.

But, admittedly, I am going to take Stephenie Meyer's books, that I enjoyed so thoroughly as beach reading, that I devoured, and I'm going to hide them until my daughter is well past her years of teenage angst.

Am I going to raise a daughter who is strong and confident in herself and who would never even think of reacting to a relationship in the outlandishly insane way Bella Swan does? Yes. Yes I am.
Am I even going to give her the temptation of reading a really well drawn character who crumbles when her boyfriend leaves her? No. No I'm not.

It is in some ways a testament to Ms.Meyer's writing that I'm even concerned about this. Her characters are rich, whole and extraordinarily life like even though they are in their own ways absurd caricatures. But, alas, so was Candide.

The crumbling and clinging of Bella is in some ways a part of what we all feel in the throws of a relationship, especially in those delicate teenage years. Just amplified to a point where it is clearly unhealthy.

Mr. Potter and company on the other hand actually face hardships, and I'm not particularly sure yet how I will address all of those with my daughter. From Harry's orphaned status, to his mistreatment by relatives, to the fact that every adult he's close to bites the dust, those are going to be difficult, harrowing conversations.
But in some ways I look forward to them because truly there is a message of strength and perseverance, along with a healthy reliance on friendship and love. Healthy.

I could wax poetic for hours about my love for Harry, Hermione, Ron and the rest of the cast of characters, but suffice it to say I would rather have my daughter face death and weird rebirths of true evil than wallow in a breakup.

Wow, that was a fun rant!

Picture Christmas Cards- My husband is a grinch

If you ever want to see my husband, a normally mild mannered, agreeable man, go off on a tirade of epic proportions ask him about picture Christmas cards.

He loathes them.

Truly.

He hates them in the following order, with hatred being multiplied exponentially as the list goes on:

1. Pictures of children

If I know you well enough to be getting a Christmas card from you, I've seen your kid in the last two months, he doesn't look much different now. What a waste of a stamp.

2. Pictures of entire families, all in white shirts, on the beach

You're a bunch of pretentious a*holes.

3. Pictures of just couples

Seriously dude? What am I supposed to do with this? It's creepy enough when I stick a picture of someone else's kid on the fridge. What will people think of me if they see a picture of a 30-something year old couple?

4. Pictures of pets

Throw it out! Don't even think about putting that on our fridge! What is wrong with people? No one likes your dog as much as you do. NO ONE! (Please note, this reaction is much, much worse if it is a pug...Linds, I'm talking to you)

5. Pictures of pets dressed in Christmas clothing

This is the worst thing humanly possible to do, not just for a Christmas card, but in life in general. It should be a federal offense. And your dog hates you for it.

So what did I do today you ask?

I ordered our Christmas card, with a picture of our daughter on it.

I think that it's a compromise that I didn't put his mug on it, and I only ordered 12 so they won't be flying about New England attached to fridge's of 3rd cousins.

But she's so damn cute I couldn't resist showing her off a little.... I'm an offender, and I'm willing to take the tirade.

Wow proven wrong...times two.

I had two big "Nicole, you're a close minded fool" moments today.

1. Jessica Simpson actually announced her pregnancy in a witty fashion. Surely that is the first time "witty" and "Jessica Simpson" have appeared in the same sentence but I was pleasantly surprised at her Halloween "Mummy" pun.

Do I know that the credit for this probably goes to her publicist? Of course I do. But I'm flabbergasted nonetheless that I thought she did something intentionally humorous.

2. Pumpkin ice cream is freaking delicious.

I know, I know, could anything sound less appealing? Pumpkin mixed with ice cream, I scoffed at my mother for wanting to try it.

I will eat my words.

It is absolutely phenomenal.

Go out and buy it! Immediately!

We had the Trader Joes variety (which is probably the best because, duh, its TJs), and it tastes a more eggnog-ish than pumpkin. It is glorious.

So today I basically spent the day being reminded that sometimes I'm just a moron, and entirely too quick to judge. Though, in my defense Ms. Simpson has been proving herself a dimwit for a while now.

"Diva in Training"

At my little cherubs weekly sing a long today there was a girl with a shirt that said "Diva in Training".

There are many, many things that I wanted to say to her mother but I didn't because I was trying to stay in the confines of polite society and I was too busy moving Belle away from that girl lest she inadvertently become friends with her.

Following is a small rant of the things that are wrong with calling your daughter a "Diva in Training".

Self-confidence is wonderful, all little girls should have it, we should all do our best to teach our girls to be proud of who they are.

Self-importance is something entirely different. It is a horrific attitude that basically amounts to "I'm better than you, more important than you, and you should do stuff for me". This is dismal behavior in an adult, in a child it's so grotesque that it inspires a physical reaction in me, blood pressure rises, and I find myself wanting to assault the parents who cultivated that attitude.

I imagine that these Diva-children end up being the kind of self-absorbed horror shows that expect people to hold umbrellas for them (I'm looking at you Beyonce), who want people to see them work out in high heels (I'm looking at you Mariah), and who think that all the rules of society apply to everyone but them including silly little things like laws (Paris Hilton, your turn to get the evil eye).

But, the thing that really bothers me the MOST about a mother being proud that she has a "Diva in Training" is that this poor child is going to grow up without knowing the joy of what it means to help your fellow man.

I know that probably sounds a bit extreme, but it is this kind of attitude cultivated at a young age that causes children to lose their innate abilities of empathy, caring and compassion. If this little girl starts out now thinking that others are meant to serve her will she ever know what it means to serve others? To make a meal for someone, to help a friend, to give a stranger change for the parking meter, to hold a door open for a woman who has an arm full of groceries, to assist an elderly person in the grocery store.

It is time that we stopped teaching children that they are the only important thing in the world, that there needs come before anyone else's. It is not only severely detrimental to them, but to the vast majority of our future society if we continue to cultivate Divas.

Wonderful Bookstore

I was given an amazing opportunity today.

8 Cousins Bookstore in Falmouth, MA hosted a local authors day with 24 authors represented.

It was absolutely packed to the gills, and an enormously wonderful experience.

Sure, we only sold one book.

Oh wait, I've never mentioned my book on here so just a touch of background, I wrote a children's book that my aunt was kind of enough to illustrate, titled Bellerina.

You can visit our website here if you're so inclined, and this is one of the lovely sketches:

So back to today, we only sold one book but I had so many lovely conversations with wonderful people who were genuinely nice, and informative.

I got some amazing tips from a guy who has written four adult novels on how to get moving with mine, and what to do about organization and follow through.

All in all I left there a few business cards shorter, and a thousand thoughts richer.

The written word

I am blessed to still have my grandfather here to talk to, to laugh with, to watch while he plays with my two year old daughter.
Friday night the husbando and I were over his house, our daughter was in bed and we were all sitting around reading, and for some reason at that moment I felt an inexplicable connection to him.
We weren't having a deep conversation, we weren't even talking, we were sitting in complete silence next to each other peacefully reading our own books.
But there was something about that action, about the simultaneous deep enjoyment of the written word that felt like a very profound connection.
We have always shared a love of reading, I blame him for my drive to finish a book, even when it's 2:30 in the morning and I know I should just put it down and finish it the next day, I can't. I have to finish a really good story (and sometimes even a mediocre one), or I can't rest.
Though we always share our thoughts on books, and we give each other plenty of recommendations (admittedly my last 3 suggestions for him have been total busts because he hated them), I have never felt our shared passion in the same way that I did Friday night.
Maybe it's because we were in silence, each happily pursuing some far off land, some word shaped dream.
It is a feeling I will never forget, and I'm exceedingly grateful that I had the chance to experience it.

Culinary Delights

Today was a day of culinary delights, and though I don't have any pictures, I can't refrain from bragging. Because 2 of the 3 meals I ate today were cooked by SOMEONE ELSE! This is a virtually unheard of occurrence.

A delicious broccoli and garlic omelette made by the husbando, OUT for dinner which is such a rare event that it feels like a solar eclipse, and ice cream at Peaceful Meadows.

I'm not thrilled with my eating decisions today because I strive to be healthy and I had a bit of a weight gain situation since I was in several wedding this summer that inevitably involved lots of good food and drinking. However, I'm trying to be far more reasonable about this.

I know that one day of indulging myself is not going to cause a 5 pound weight gain, and I have to lighten up a little!

So, Im' going to embrace that mentality and go pop open a Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA.

The only beer more glorious than their 90 minute IPA.

Coming to Writing

This is a departure from my usual blogging style, but I believe that you will see more "life musings" from me as this blog goes on, as I deepen my private writing, and display a touch of it on here.

If you are a writer, an aspiring writer, a blogger who doesn't quite consider herself a writer or someone who has always thought "Wow I have a lot to say but don't know how to get it out" I highly recommend "Coming to Writing", an essay by Helene Cixous.

It is not a "how to" book, it does not tell you to set a timer for 15 minutes a day and write your little heart out.

It does nothing less than ignite the fire deep in your soul that yearns to produce something creative, to share with the world your light, and to embrace the glory of the words of others. Deeply emotional, poetically structured, and abounding in a call to action it will remind you why you write, how your writing is in essence a revealing of the core of your nature.

The essay is beautiful, boundless and without parallel.

When I first read it in 2002 I highlighted 12 pages. Pages. Rereading it today I do not feel at all that I overused my highlighter, in fact I'm wondering why I didn't just drag it across the entire piece of work.

I cannot do it justice so I leave you with my three favorite quotes and encourage you to find your fire, let it roam, and write. Even if you choose never to show your writing to anyone, at its soul and center writing is always intended for she who wields the pen.

"Writing begins, without you, without I, without law, without knowing, without light, without hope, without bonds, without anyone close to you, for as world history goes on, you are not in it..."

"[Woman] is defined by her connections, wife of, as she was daughter of, from hand to hand, from bed to niche, from niche to household, woman as the complement-of-a-name has much to do to cut free. They have taught you to be afraid of the abyss, of the infinite, which is nonetheless more familiar to you than it is to man. Don't go near the abyss! If she should discover its force! If she should, suddenly take pleasure in, profit from its immensity! If she should take the leap! And fall not like a stone, but like a bird."

"How what affects me comes into language comes out fully worded, I don't know. I "feel" it, but it is mystery itself, which language is unlikely to let through"

Track this down. Even if you are not a writer, it will awaken you, remind you of your own purpose here, and encourage you to embrace what you are capable of and strive to surpass it, not as a matter of social construct but because of the innate desire to better yourself.

A Big Peach

Awesome Just Write idea, about free flow blogging here, that I found via www.onecraftymother.com another amazing blog space! Seemed like a good thing to do to kickstart my blogging after the hiatus for this weekend's wedding:

Life is good.

At the grocery store picking up some lunch and I found the worlds biggest peach, assuredly James and his friends reside in here. Well, not for long, since I'm about to decimate it, in all of its juicy goodness.

You have to take the little things in life and relish them, enjoy them, let them remind you that in the long run, past all of the trials the world that we live in is a good one, fruitful and accommodating.

Sure, this morning my daughter threw up all over the car while I was on the way to drop her off with my stepfather for the day.

Sure, it ruined my work outfit and I had to scrounge through my mom's closet to find a new one.

Sure, at work when I was picking up my laptop out of a drawer the strap on the dress I stole from my mom broke off.

But you know what? My daughter (with all of her throw-uppy goodness) is an amazing, happy, vibrant little being who brings joy to my life, I found a safety pin in my purse to fix my strap, and then of course there is the giant peach (almost completely gone at this point in the post).

When I remember to relish what I receive instead of dwelling on my obstacles the truth shines through:

Life is good!